Essay

Contrasting between two jobs (commuting, hours, job type)


malakot  HIIf you can help me to check my paragraph ,I will tankful.Contrasting between two jobs I have hadI had two jobs witch differed in several ways.First of all, the working hours of the first job were different from the working hours of the second job. In the first job, I was working eight hours a day. On the other hand, in the second job, I was working only seven days a week. In addition, the second job was closer to me than the first job. While I was spending more than an hour commuting to the first job, I was spending only ten minutes commuting to the second job. Finally, unlike the first job, the second job was work performed by a team. For example, I was doing all labor alone in the first job .However, I was doing most labor in the second job as a team work. Over all, the second job and first job differed in work hours, location and work performed.Thanks salbazili Threads: 4
Posts: 16
Author: salbazili In the first job, I was working eight hours a day. On the other hand, in the second job, I was working only seven days a week.I don't see the comparison in this sentence... eight hours a day in the first jobs compared to how many hours a day in the second job? you should also explain the first job more before

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you compare it to the other one...Try to stick to the past simple... here are some simple changes:

I was working workedeight hours a day. On the other hand, in the second job, I was working workedonly seven days a week. In addition, the second job was closer to forme than the first job ;while I was spending "spent" or "used to spend"more than an hour commuting to the first job, I was spending spentonly ten minutes commuting to the second job. Finally, unlike the first job, the second job was work performed by a teamwork.

Here, you should be more specific: For example, I was doing all labor did all the workalone in the first job. However, I was doing most labor in the second job as a team work. Over all To sum up, the second job and first job differed inthe number ofwork hours, location and work the way the wereperformed.

In addition, the second job was closer to me.In addition, the second job was closer for me.The first way was actually alright. For someone learning English, it is correct to think of something being closer to me or further from me.I understand why Salbazili made that change, though! We might say that, in addition, the commute to the second job was as far for me to travel.Great corrections here! Do you have any questions? Will you type a new draft below?

:-)




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